Recently I found out that I'm much more screwed with my education than I had previously thought. Before, my mother had told me that I would not need a high school diploma to get my ylioppilastodistus, so like the thing you get when you complete your finals aproppriately. The high school diploma would instead need all the 160 points from courses to be completed, and right now I have 133. Each course gives 1 to 2 points...

Turns out that my ma was wrong and I do need both of them to seek the further education I want. I have until the end of May to get all the points..... :( I feel bad but I suppose it could be worse... And I think I may ask my student counsellor about whether or not I can continue further, considering I could use a bit more time. I don't want the 4 years I've already spent here to go to waste, as after that I don't know what I would do in life.

Well, if I do manage to get all those courses done in that time, I would also need to find myself a job for July and afterward so that I can afford my rent. When my education ends, my disability support will also end. It's not a lot that I would need to cover, but eh, still stressful with how bad the job market in Finland has been...

For education, I've been wanting to go do coding stuff. Scarily I would need to move to a bigger city where rent would of course be even more expensive. Like yeah, I'll have the student loan to cover that, but I'm not really looking forward to it. And then who knows how well I can find a job after that, though I suppose I can always just come back here and work some random job if I can find one.

12:21 Alright well instead of just panicking about it, I did a little research. Turns out that I can do more than 4 years of upper secondary school, thank fuck. But yeah, I'll still need to worry about a job and I'm just overwhelmed with worrying about stuff once I let a little bit of worry get to me once...

I'm considering applying for summer jobs since they would be easier to get into, and in the mean time I could look for long time jobs. I'm considering grocery stores and also the local parish/graveyard.